Stuff and Things

Recently I have been exchanging English lessons for German lessons with my lovely neighbor. Last date, she informed me (complete with flailing hand gestures) that her husband was impotent! Took me a while to figure out she meant important. Glad that I didn't have to explain the difference, and by explain, I mean act out.

Another neighbor referred to the place where we live as the Nazi Castle. We thought he was being silly, but it turns out we were being silly, because of course, Germans don't joke. Chateau Venauen was taken over by the Nazi party and used as a school to indoctrinate young soldiers. Good Lord.

Dogs are soooo well behaved here, and it's making us feel guilty. Our neighbors recently asked us where our dogs went to school, and we had to awkwardly explain that they were the weird home-schooled kids in the building.

Managed our first dinner, told our guests that it was going to be super casual (we still have boxes stacked) and they show up in cashmere and a sports coat and a pocket square. German casual is much different than American casual.

Bought the boys glow-in-the-dark collars for night time walks, since it gets dark here at four thirty. Every time I put them on I feel like they are getting ready to attend a rave.


Still as beautiful as ever

Sunday walk

Newton ready to rave

trying something new

He has a much better vista on his pouf

feeling like home

vines, vines, everywhere

My crazy massive stick action makes me happy

It's amazing how food reminds you of home

Church bells in Rosrath

Going over the ground rules

You win some, You lose some

I love my dogs, I swear, but sometimes.........

LOSE: When you buy a raincoat for your dog to keep him dry and the burs out of his belly fur, you think he looks pretty spiffy and sporty and then you walk outside and your neighbor informs you that he looks pretty in his dress.

LOSE: When you decide it is time to try this whole dog in restaurant thing, so you proceed to do a trial run at McDonalds. You order a coffee and are focused on getting the right Euro's. When you look back up, your 85 lb dog is on his hind legs, feet on the counter mumbling in a low growl. Germans start yelling "nein" he gets down, and then you try to explain the he just placed an order for a number five with extra fries. No one smiles.

LOSE: When you are trying to acclimate your dogs to their new food and you wake up in the middle of the night to the unmistakable smell of dog poo in all its eye-watering, gag-inducing glory. Your husband proceeds to jump out of bed only to have his feet land in said poo. Does the only natural thing and flings his foot across the room, giving our bedroom wall a very Jackson Pollock look.

LOSE: When you take your very energetic dog to a very dry open field, and think " okay,I shall now let him off the leash...." 2 minutes later he finds the mother of all mud holes and proceeds to jump in, head first. You spend the rest of the afternoon, and all of the towels you own de-mudding him, in your bathtub. 

WIN: When you cannot find your other slipper, only to see that Nox has taken it out to the balcony, and is using it as his pillow.

WIN: When you avoid orthopedic dog surgery that costs as much as a college education.

WIN: Having a dog that stays by your side, and even lies down on the bath or shower mat, just so he can be as close to you as possible at all times

WIN: When we pass a toddler that thinks Newton is  a terrible beast, Newton walks up to him, sits, and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Boy laughs, and wants to take Newton home with him.

Thankful for these two characters, life is just better, when you have dogs...

What's new:

Birthdays: 1
Pictures hung: 0
Successful dinner parties:1
Completed DIY house projects:0
Rain: Lots
New word: Schatz (my darling)

 My new obsession: Mercury glass candles

Are you tired of woodsy pictures yet? 

Happy Birthday

drool central

 I'm weird, I know, but it was a butter snowflake!

joy

Ah, beauty.

My brain hurts. So, here are some pretty pictures.

Weekend Discoveries: Schloss Bensberg

Big Castle, little town. Bensberg is a quick 15 minute drive from our house, we actually viewed a little house here, and one of the biggest draws was this place, Schloss (castle) Bensberg. It used to be home to one of Germans most famous writers...... and has now been converted into a gorgeous hotel, restaurants. It was a perfect weekend discovery.

Gettin' Cultured

It's exhausting feeling like an idiot all of the time. Everything from buying groceries, to trying to figure out what that weird traffic sign you never have seen means takes its toll. We knew this before we left, all of the "it will be hard at first" and "hang in there's" are coming to mind. It just seems like some days, nothing can go right, like you are Sisyphus, pushing the boulder up the mountain, only to reach to top to have it roll down again. 

Yesterday I went to get groceries, put them in the trunk and got into the car. Sat there for a good minute before I realized I was sitting in the passengers seat, and that the invisible chauffeur wasn't going to drive me home.

When you take your dog to the dog park and get yelled at for having your dog off leash, so you put them on a leash and get yelled at for having your dogs leashed in an off-leash dog park.

Went to Ikea, bought an already assembled wardrobe only to find out that the guy that helped me didn't speak English very well. Completely missed the part about you having to disassemble it in the store yourself before it could be packed or delivered.

When I tried to meet Zach at work for our Intercultural training session, and I explained to the visitor's desk that I was Zachary Tyrrell's wife, he looked at me like I was from another planet and said "not allowed" like I was asking for a conjugal visit or something. After conferring with different security companies, the head of Bayer and possibly Chuck Norris, Zach had to come and save me. Made up a company I worked for because "only business-related people allowed". Needless to say, we spent a long time in our session discussing Germans' obsession with their rules.

When I had to take the 24 page, 300-question long dog test to make sure I was "fit" to handle two large dogs. 

Unknown, seemingly random limits on your bank card. Makes it a problem when you try to buy something more expensive than a bushel of apples. You get denied and everyone looks at you like you are irresponsible to be spending more money than you have, when really, sometimes, you need to spend more than 25 euros a day.(Turns out there are pre-set daily and weekly limits)

We are humbled, and our skin grows thicker daily. So to end this novel of a post, here's me, dead- serious. Like zee Germans.

Reading: "The Boys in the Boat"

Eating: Bratwurst and stinky cheese, and chocolate

Doing: Art, dog rehab, improving the world's crops

Note to self: "Stop calling Nox, Noxy in public, sounds too much like Nazi"

Small victories: Ordering food in your new tongue 

and....... GO ROYALS!

My new set-up

Cannot get enough of the fall here

Getting chilly

Someone fell asleep in the rain

This dude

Wanted to take this wall home

Da mooooooon!

First drawing done and done

Pretty sure this road leads to Narnia

Love the slate roofs here

Forest walk

Eating lots of this

Darling wee-little toadstool